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Image description: The word ASSESSMENT behind a magnifying glass.

 

Early and anxious. That’s how I woke up this morning. Joe too is jittery. He’s made sure that the place is clean and orderly. I helped with that as much as I could. He’s driving the girls up to school this morning and may not be here when they get here.

Who are they?They are, cue frightening sound effects, the assessors.

They are coming as a result of the breakdown of my power chair. As I’ve had it for several years and as the problem seems simply to be that the chair is worn out, it’s travelled thousands of miles, across several provinces and states, up and down ramps and hills. It’s well past the ‘due date’ for a new chair and they are coming to assess me again.

I went through this the first time. Now, I have to go through it again. It was uncomfortable the first time, it’s going to be again. I have learned something. It doesn’t get easier and the feeling of intrusiveness doesn’t go away.

Understand I’m not complaining about the behaviour of the person last time or expecting unprofessional behaviour this time, not at all. It isn’t the person, it’s the process that’s really the issue. It’s something both they and I have to go through. It’s the dance.

Here’s the thing that I thought about this morning as I was in bed anticipating getting up and officially facing the day. I am very comfortable being the assessor, I am not so comfortable being the assessed. This is probably no surprise, a position of power changes everything.

Absolutely everything.

Last time I went through this, I know I learned things.

This time I intend to be much more mindful of how it feels to be on the other side of the magnifying glass. I intend to be much more sensitive to words, and tones and manner. Not because I want to be critical of a person, but to be aware, really aware of our roles.

I have an opportunity to learn.

And I’m going to take it.

This won’t make this easier, but it will make it a more valuable way to spend morning.