How to Walk on thin Ice (pt 3)
In communication, honestly is hard, but it is the best policy. We may lose the relationship but it is better to risk that than to live a lie.
To live under the control of other people makes it hard to communicate. This can apply to students in a school, patients in a hospital or the lower ranks in the armed forces. This inability to communicate can lead to tension, which can lead to bladder control problems, rashes, and even gastric ulcers. So true communication is vital for both physical and mental health.
True communication means that strategies must be implemented to achieve results. Sometimes this can be achieved by having a neutral third person act as facilitator to keep the flow of information going, and prevent the discussion from digressing into a brawl!
If we venture out into the thin ice of true communication, much can be done to help us not to fall through. Communication needs the proper surroundings, and proper conditions, to succeed. When we are tired, we cannot pay full attention to what is being said. True communication needs people who are well rested, and should be held on neutral ground, if possible. That is, in a restaurant, or in a park, where it is more difficult for people to just walk out instead of confronting the problem.
Always respect the dignity of the other person, any damage to their self esteem will close off communication. Do not allow the discussion to become a confrontation. Let the other person know that you love them, and do not want to hurt them, but they are doing something that is upsetting you, and you need to talk about it.
Make sure you don’t use emotion-loaded words. Don’t say “you have a bad habit that drives me crazy.” Instead say something like, “I’m sure you don’t realize how I feel when you do that, but I just have to explain it to you.” Use eye contact at all times, don’t stand over the person, but be physical on the same level.
Always check and make sure the other person knows just what you mean. After all, a word may mean one thing to you, but something different to someone else. Use the simplest words you can. If you use long words to someone who is in an emotional situation it is like a doctor using medical terminology to a patient. It is more likely to create confusion rather than clear up a situation.
Do not expect to just deal with your problem and then close off the communication. Give the other person a chance to express his or her feelings. And if at first you don’t succeed, don’t give up, but try again. A good relationship is really worth the effort!!