Because the word ‘invalid’ sounds different when it references an argument or a point someone is making than it does when referring to people with disabilities. That little bit of difference makes it sound like it’s two different words with two different spellings, it isn’t. I’m not going to go off on a rant about the use of the word ‘invalid’ in language, I practically never hear it used in reference to disability any more, even the dictionary says is archaic and it’s offensive.
What I want to talk about is those moments in life where I feel like I’m simply invalid – using the meaning of ‘not valid’. A really small moment happened in a store where Joe and I were making a deposit on our retirement plan and picking up lottery tickets. I had rolled in, I was making the order, Joe was standing in front of me simply watching the ticket seller punch buttons. After buying the ‘machine tickets’ I also wanted to pick up some scratch tickets, the maybe a vacation this year tickets. But when I said, “I’ll get some scratch tickets now,” the man completely ignored me, I wasn’t there. He totalled the tickets bought thus far and looked to Joe for the money. All this as if I was invalid – as in having no part to play in this transaction.
I spoke up saying, “I’m buying the tickets, not him, please listen to me.” His wife, who works in the store with him heard the tone of my voice and rushed over. He was now flustered and was pulling trays of tickets out and shoving them at me. I hadn’t yet told him which ticket types we wanted. I had to wait for the flurry of activity to die down, I then told him which tickets I wanted and he put back two trays and held out a third, to Joe, as if I wasn’t there. As if I was invalid – as in an argument serving no purpose.
Again I directed him that I was picking the tickets and he shoved them at me, I was upset, so was he, but I picked and paid for the tickets. On the way out I told Joe that we would never purchase there again. Joe simply nodded, he got it.
It’s a word that means ‘of no consequence’ … ‘wrong’ … ‘incorrect’ … maybe it’s a word that also describes the feeling that we have,sometimes as disabled people.
Maybe that’s why, on occasion I have a deep, deep yearning for validation.
Maybe that’s what we can all do for each other.