Rolling Around In My Head doing damns the darkness/ A Blog By Dave Hingsburger

First Stop, Second Stop … (Part 3)

We arrived at the hotel with a day to spare. We had wanted to make sure I had a day to rest before hitting the consultations that I had lined up. I rested by shopping, having ice tea at every opportunity, and simply enjoying pushing myself around. It was great to be away from home, great to be back on the road. I wasn’t too worried about the consultations because

How It Goes (Part Two)

After coming out of the hospital, lots of decisions had to be made. In the end we cancelled trip after trip, most with multiple stops, just to give me time to heal. These were hard decisions but the were also the obvious ones, I had to get better. Going back to work at my job at Vita was joyous. I just wanted some type of normalcy in my routine and

The Story and How It Begins (Part One)

I’ve got to go way back in order to go forward. This is often true in life when we need to self-correct or when we need to see a moment in time in its true context. For me, it started in Niagara Falls where I had been booked to do a two day training session. I went to do the training knowing I was unwell, but not knowing that I

Straight Beer

We meticulously planned a hotel to stay at that was within walking distance from an accessible, yes can you believe it, gay bar. We seldom get to be in gay spaces any more, most of them are inaccessible in one way or another, so we were excited. It really did take work getting there, the distance wasn’t great but there was a fairly steep hill that we hadn’t anticipated. But

Straight Strawberry Shortcake

Joe and I sat across from one another on a rare night out for supper. We travel a lot and most people assume we eat out a lot but we don’t. We typically have a microwave in the room and make our meals en suite. This gives us just a little more control over our diet and, being vegetarian, allows us to escape the ever present and slightly malevolent pasta

Bolted

She struggled to push an immovable chair out of my way. Let me say that again. She struggled to push a chair, that couldn’t be pushed, out of my way. That’s one thing. The other was, it wasn’t in my way. The only thing in my way was her as she leaned down to try to get a chair that wouldn’t move to move. I watched for a second. I

What They Call Me in Canada

We entered Target, and immediately Joe said, “I’ve got to go pee.” We’re old men and this is a constant theme throughout our day. I didn’t have to go so I wandered around the entrance to the store. Two fellows came in, maybe in their 50’s, saw me there, smiled, and said, “Waiting on the wife?” Now I had a choice. I could just let it go, I could say

The Words Almost Said

The words formed in my head as I was pushing down a long hallway covered with thick plush carpet. Joe popped out of our hotel room and called out STOP IT’S NOT ACCESSIBLE. My heart sank, I yanked my chair around and headed back to the elevator and to the fight. At the desk I spoke to a woman about the issue, she tried to find me something in the

Surrounded

And suddenly a door opened and I was surrounded by children. Small children. Young enough to be curious. Young enough to have flexible minds. Young enough to see I was different. Young enough to connect with my eyes and see similarity. The questions flew out of them. They had to fly by the discomfort of adults who worried about me, as if they thought the questions would somehow lead me

Words / Power / Healing

For about 12 years now, I’ve had a tiny little hole in my mind that led to a puncture in my heart and a crack in my soul. It’s a wound that sometimes hurt. But only sometimes. There were days it was almost unbearable and days I didn’t think about it at all. I had become resigned to the emptiness of those spaces in the trinity of my essence. Resigned.

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