I don’t think anyone heard us.

We were speaking quite low.

But what was happening was that three of us were talking about materials to teach someone about anal sex, after lunch, and over a sharing plate of sticky toffee pudding.

We all laughed when we realized what we were doing.

We all stopped when we realized why.

People with disabilities, even those who have grown up in the community, are still far removed from the opportunity to slowly grow into their adulthood. People’s opinions aren’t just opinions they can actually be immovable barriers. Agencies policies aren’t just policies they are commandments that can bow even the strongest back. Peer rejection isn’t just rejection it can be an act of bigotry that locks an invisible gate behind which the shadow of the institution remains.

Freedom.

Freedom from.

Freedom to.

There is much to celebrate, we were after all talking about training that would happen, training that was sought out, and more, training that is being allowed.

Because that’s where we are still at … people with disabilities not having rights but allowances. I will decide, your team will decide, the agency will decide, your parents will decide if you have the right to ask for and receive information about your body. Your body is not yet yours. Your body is a political thing. Your body is a territorial thing. Your body is not under your control.

But even still.

It’s important to celebrate those three people leaned in over sticky toffee pudding and talking about anal sex and how to teach it.

Because that means someone, somewhere, said, “Yes, go do this.”

And while that voice and those words still must come from others. It’s a welcome voice. But even welcome voices need to become unnecessary voices when it comes to the body of another.

Freedom.

Freedom to be an adult.

Freedom from the power of others.

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