We were heading up towards the mall on the north side of the street and I’d made it across the street but the scooter simply stalled, came to a quick stop, as I was riding up the curb cut. I sat there literally and figuratively powerless. The light changed and a woman walking quickly to catch the light came to a dead stop beside me, the idea of going around me hadn’t occurred to her.
“You are blocking my way,” she said.
Now, I’m frazzled and upset and feeling powerless, I had no room left for manners. I said, “Yeah, and I did this just to inconvenience you. I’d planned it for months and it’s worked, I couldn’t be happier.” My face wad deadpan serious. Like I really had planned to pick this woman out of all the people in the world to plot a master plan to be in her way while she walked on the sidewalk.
Taken aback it took her a full few seconds to speak, “That’s silly,” she said.
“As is this whole conversation, and I’m not going to explain to you why I’m sitting here on a scooter with a dead battery cause I figure you surely are able to figure that out.”
Now she felt horrible. Of course I didn’t just park there. Of course. “I’m so …”
“Don’t say it,” I said, “just please walk around.”
Like I freaking planned it.