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On Friday, my mind was full of concerns and questions and worries. Joe and I were driving off to the hotel where we would stay the night before the Saturday presentation to parents. We didn’t chat much, which is unusual for us, we rode quietly together. I had told Joe that I was tired, and, at the time, thought that I was telling the truth, I was, indeed tired. But the real truth for my silence is that my mind was fiddling with worries and toying with questions and attempting to find ways through concerns. I may have looked like a man relaxed into a car seat going for a ride, but I wasn’t. I was highly active.

When we turned the corner and first saw the hotel, I also noticed a small outlet store about a block away. Joe pulled in to place and said that he’d get my wheelchair out, I asked him if he could just take the luggage to the room and then we’d go back to the outlet store. Joe isn’t a shopper, it’s not something he enjoys like I do, I could see that he was tired and he didn’t want to go but he sighed, he won’t admit to that, and said that he’d be back as quick as he could.

Next we parked at the outlet store and laughed at the accessible entrance. They had everything they should have; a cut curb, wide doors, an electronic opener, but they were all in the wrong places. It would be impossible for someone, even in a power chair, to easily make it in, but between the two of us we got in the mall. I started shopping immediately. Joe wandered along with me, and like many husbands, would often sit on a bench in the mall while I was in a store looking at stuff.

We were there just shy of an hour, I picked up a couple of things, got Joe and new shirt for a big event on Tuesday, and we made our way back into the car, over to the hotel and into the room. Once there, I thanked Joe for the trip, and then, I told him that I just needed to be distracted from what was going on in my head. I explained a bit and as I did Joe got this strange look on his face.

He said, “If you ever need to go do something just to distract yourself from stuff like this, just tell me. I didn’t want to go and I know that I let you know that I didn’t want to go, but that’s because  I didn’t know it was what you needed. Next time, just tell me.”

I agreed.

It is so easy to just stop talking, stop communicating, isn’t it? It’s so easy to have resentment build where it need not even lay a brick. It’s just so easy, years into a relationship, to assume that someone knows what you need.

It is so easy to just stop talking.

It is so easy to just stop communicating.

It is so easy to just assume your needs are understood.

I realized if I don’t get over easy, life could become really hard.

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