Author’s note: This month’s column is an excerpt from my longer essay Staff: A Necessary Evil.

If you want to read more about the thoughts of staffing please check out the essay at Amazon, Kobo or Smashwords.


The Reality TV of My Life.


Years before the Kardashians made it popular, I felt like I had the world watching my every move.

Only instead of me getting paid, for providing the entertainment, it was the audience that got compensated (namely staff). Once again it wasn’t like the vast majority of my staff were doing anything wrong, it was just that they were always there! They’re there in the morning seeing my bed head, they’re there when I take my morning piss, when they’re drying me after a shower and doing a full body check to make sure my skin isn’t breaking out: and that’s just before I’ve even had breakfast!

Now you may say ‘well that’s their job; what’s the issue?’ And you’re right, but it’s the fact that I can never get away from them that’s the issue.

Even when they’re not doing personal care, staff are still there in the room, and their very presence causes people visiting to change their behavior. P&Qs are watched more, and while I can’t prove it, I think people dress up a bit before they come over.

Then of course there is the problem that in North America we’re not used to the idea of servants; like they are in England or other places that get to live the Downton Abby experience.

So, family and friends who come to visit me they end up talking to my staff as much as they do me.

When at home my better staff will leave the room when I have guests over, or at least don’t mind being asked to leave.

But when we’re out of the house, this isn’t always possible. Besides were social animals, I don’t always feel right (or sometimes it’s not possible) to ask staff to sit at another table, and certainly when I visit friends at their home they feel awkward not having staff in the room. They’re playing host and that includes playing host to my staff.

It’s fair but still hard on me.

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